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Real. Gutteral. Heartfelt.

Lack of connection? Chemistry? Or is it me?

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Recently I slept with a woman after four dates. I really liked her. We connected in many ways and shared a great number of similarities. Then, we had sex… During our romp, I began to feel different. My feelings couldn’t even wait until after the deed was done to change — they began to change during intercourse — to the point where I wanted it to end and I wanted to leave. Internally, I was shocked to feel such an uprising. I bemused myself. How could this change occur so suddenly? What’s the matter with me?

I couldn’t come, no…


Single and obsessed with dating apps, I’ve forgotten who I am.

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I woke this morning to check my empty inbox, still lying in bed. No new matches, no new messages. I feel myself fall into the arms of despair. I check my Instagram, maybe some new action there, some attention from a woman, nothing. My face buries into my sweaty pillow, maybe I should just stay here and suffocate myself, it feels more peaceful at this present moment than to let my phone suffocate me.

I’m a single man in my mid-thirties; when do I cross over and become a loser bachelor? Am I already there? Luckily my apartment doesn’t have…


Men-Supporting-Men is great, but sometimes men need to point toward the moral compass too.

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I hadn’t seen him in a while and we were having drinks. He proclaimed about how he’s going to make it work with his girlfriend this time.

“We’ve booked couples therapy, I’m all out of straws, this is my last ounce of effort but it’s worth it for the baby.”

They have been in an in-and-out relationship for years, and they’re halfway between the in and the out this time. All of a sudden his eyes shifted and a target appeared in them. Ladies were fawning and giving him attention, his mood shifted, and I could feel the conversation we…


There’s no longer a fire of hunger, but one of bitterness.

He was once an Irish icon careening through the stratosphere, setting his trail ablaze and igniting the furor of a nation, as well as a generation of fight fans. He would stop opponents in devastating fashion and then walk away, arms raised, to the explosion of an arena and television sets all over the world. For a spell, he was a God of combat, of sports, and of entertainment.

Late Saturday night in Las Vegas, on the 10th of July 2021, we saw a different version of him. Sadly, he suffered an appalling injury at the end of the first…


Ladies put themselves through painful beauty regimes, should I?

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Recently, I’ve allowed women to delve deep down into the dark insides of my glutes. My two, big, pasty, pale moons have spent most of their existence hidden from humanity. They couldn’t be further from exposure, generally hidden behind two layers of fabric and at the opposite side of my torso from my face; and then further hidden round the back and out of sight, like a staff entrance to a restaurant — not suitable for public viewing.

As a young adult, I couldn’t bear the thought of having anyone touch my backside or even go near it. Being a…


A gateway to psychopathy

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I have a date tonight. I’ve been single for four years. I’ve had many dates in those years. My last relationship was a slaughtering. It took me to the brink of darkness and I nearly fell in forever. I don’t like to think about it too much, I spent long enough getting over it — I like being over it. I like the absence of trauma in my soul, now I can get on with my life. So, I go on dates trying to find love.

I matched with a charming-looking girl who I’ll meet tonight. We’re going for coffee…


Is this phenomenon worsening in today’s world?

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“You THINK you like them but then you suddenly catch ‘The Ick’. From then on you can’t look at the person in the same way.”

As described by Urban Dictionary

The toenails… I just couldn’t get past the toenails. They had varnish on them that looked like it was a month old. Chipped, worn-looking, a dirty undefinable colour, and in that instant the thought that she doesn’t wash flooded my mind. We had been on a few dates and that was the first time we had been naked together. She was cool, we got along, but the thought of her…


The difference between professionals and hobbyists.

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“I have to write, for my own mental health, I need to write”

J.K. Rowling speaking to Oprah Winfrey in 2010.

As a fledgling writer I didn’t know what to write about. I never considered myself to be a fiction writer, I didn’t have a field of expertise, and I wasn’t attached to any genres like travel or cultural reviews. Naturally, I ended up writing memoir-style personal essays. They were guttural, heart-wrenching, brutally honest, and in hindsight somewhat cringe-worthy. …


I find them so sexy— is that weird?

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There’s something about finding feet sexy that is considered weird and freaky. There’s a level of embarrassment attached to this for me, and for many other people who ever mention it. I have felt the puce red colour surge to my face when I’ve mentioned that I think feet are pretty, and the face of a lady recoils with the expression, “Huh?” plastered across it. It seems that you are thought to have devious and strange sexual desires if you find yourself gawping at a pretty pair of feet. Why is this so?

I understand that feet aren’t sexual organs…


Sexual script theory and being influenced by porn.

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I was living through a period of sexual drought in a small town in rural England, piecing my life together after some traveling and family grief. I was bound to a small room in a small cottage, working a small job and saving small amounts. Dwelling in that damp room droned on for the winter period and my goal was to leave in the spring for London.

I was young at the time and to get me through these difficult months I watched an awful lot of Netflix, swiped through an awful lot of Tinder (with very few people within…

Jack Arthur Wilde

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